Today's Quote: "Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge...other just gargle."
I am beginning to think that the further South you go, the more literally minded the people are. Every now and again my dry humor would be lost on some unsuspecting moron in Shreveport…but Beaumontians take it to a new level. It’s not a retarded literalness, however, it is more of a kind-hearted concern for what you are saying and taking you very seriously. Let me explain…
Yesterday was the dogs first day of doggy day care and in an attempt to use every moment of my “alone day” wisely, I decided to start out with a McDonald’s iced coffee to get me going. I pulled up to the window, placed my order, and proceeded to the first window. After she collected my money, I found myself stuck there with two cars in front of me. She was standing there…just inches from me…with the window still open…so I felt the need to fill the void with some of my classic, sarcastic conversation. I asked what they would charge to just start an IV to infuse me with iced coffee. She looked a little confused, so I continued. “You should suggest that…you could get promoted!” Again she looked lost but she started to smile so I thought maybe I was getting through. “Just think, they could get some chairs like the blood bank and set them up along the front there. Then we addicts could come in, get wired up on iced coffee, and then be on our way!” Now her smile was gone…she looked up and to the left…and it occurred to me…she was deep in thought!
Finally she was prepared to speak. “They would probably charge an arm and a leg for something like that” she said like she was afraid I would be disappointed. “Oh well, maybe they should just sell it by the gallon jug,” I said while thinking “why won’t this damn car go!!!! For the love of Christ and all that is holy, how many sausage biscuits could one car order?” I really wanted out of this overly serious conversation I had unintentionally started. But no such luck. She went on to explain exactly how iced coffee is made…right down to how many packets of coffee are used for each pot!
Finally! The car pulls ahead and I left her…she was about halfway through the process of taking ordinary coffee and turning it into iced coffee goodness…but I had to move on with my day…and my life.
The underlying lesson: Make no smart ass comment to a stranger unless you are prepared to weigh the pros and cons and present a fully thought out business plan.
