So many funny things have happened during this remodeling "adventure" but the experience has pushed me to a point of exhaustion that prohibits my brain from blogging…not to mention the 1/2 inch splinter in my left pointer finger keeps me from typing. But alas, today the humor was too good not to share.
I've been up since 2 a.m. I have been painting since 6:30 a.m. This information is relevant only in that it may help explain my state of mind and maybe so you will be impressed at my restraint.
So the Orkin guy arrived around 8 a.m. He is a tall, lanky fellow…who is missing many of what I refer to as "critical" teeth (meaning ones that are located in the front) and those that he does have are all jockeying for a position directly in the middle where they are proceeding to rot. I explained to him upon his entry that I hope for his sake this is the worst sight he sees today (the condition of the house, not the bugs because there don't seem to be any yet).
He walks in and quickly starts to tell me about his own remodeling project that has been underway since Hurricane Rita. I don't know exactly how long that is…but I'm guessing he isn't a very speedy worker. He tells me about his pink bathroom and I show him mine…he describes his orange tub and I show him mine…this continues as he sprays. We end up in the kitchen and he looks at the floor and says "Man I really like this tile!" He said it with such enthusiasm as he leaned in for a closer look at the worn and tattered linoleum that I personaly find to be more of a hideous optical illusion that should have seizure warnings. He continued with "y'all has done some nice work in this kitchen!"
Now for all you nice do-gooders I will have you know that my mouth graciously thanked him for his compliment…but my brain was SCREAMING for me to speak…and it said…(in the voice of Stewie) "Well for heaven's sake good man, do let me run to the bank right now…I'm going to cash in my retirement, drain my savings, and steal whatever the little old lady at the counter has too! Let's get you out of this drab brown uniform and launch you into the interior design career you deserve!"
See what being nice did? It kept this man from his calling!
