The big day finally came. Moving day is here. The adventure begins. Amidst the sweat and exhaustion, two things happened today of comical value.
Tim rented a transport to haul his car behind mine. He was gone awhile and then I saw my car go by with the transport. It was some time later when I realized I had not heard from him. I stepped out the front door to see him in his car on the transport behind my car. I figured he must have been fooling with that, so I started to go back inside…when I heard a honk…and a really pitiful “please come here.” I trotted out to the street and asked what the hell he was doing. He said he got the car up on this thing but now he had a problem…he opened the door and in about 4 inches he hit the wheel cover on the transport. He looked at me so pitifully and asked “how do I get out of the car.” At this point…I had only one choice…it was a force I could not fight. I laughed. I laughed and I laughed and I laughed. I went over to the instructions painted on the transport and saw nothing about how to exit the vehicle once it was secured…but it was difficult to read with the tears in my eyes. He decided he would just crawl out the sunroof…which made me laugh harder. Upon realizing his round ass was not going to go out the square sunroof…he decided a Dukes of Hazard move was his only option. As he was crawling out the driver side window…the neighbor appeared for the first time since his offer to help us load the truck. He grinned and offered some sound advice… “You know those covers over the wheels lift up so you can open your car doors.” Again…no options…I laughed and laughed and laughed…until I peed.
Eventually the truck was as loaded as it could be and we were on the road. We were making amazing time…he was trucking right along in the truck and I was an acceptable distance behind him. Round about Jasper…the adventure really began. The road was getting crazy bumpy and I was starting to think about all of the things that could be falling onto my grandmother’s antique china hutch. I was totally zoned out when I noticed a cop do a hella u-turn in the median and come whizzing by me…I looked at my speedometer and then laughed…we hadn’t even come close to the speed limit since we left…and what kind of cop would pull over a U Haul anyway? Well, I’ll tell you…a Jasper cop. He whipped in front of me, promptly braked, and turned on his lights. As Tim pulled off and was leaning on the 3 inch drop to the shoulder, I was in a panic. What if everything just fell over? Is something wrong with the truck?
I couldn’t make this up…the cop…driving 70+ mph…in the opposite lane…across a sizeable median…could not see Tim’s seat belt. Tim was visibly livid and quickly explained he was indeed wearing his seatbelt…less for the possibility of an accident…but more because if he didn’t wear one…he would have likely been ejected from the truck several miles back.
The cop chose not to write a bogus ticket, which I have to say was in his best interest. We pulled off a few minutes later for a pee brake and I have to say that standing 5 feet in front of the truck…I couldn’t even see the color of his shirt…much less his seat belt…but what I could see…what that he was a white man…in Jasper, Texas…
No comments:
Post a Comment